Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road – Politico Style » Porres.com

Thanks to John Durham for sharing these.

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

BARACK OBAMA:

The chicken crossed the road because it was time for CHANGE!

JOHN MCCAIN:

My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON:

When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure — right from Day One! — that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn’t about me…….

JOHN KERRY:

Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

GEORGE W. BUSH:

We don’ t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY:

Where’s my gun?

COLIN POWELL:

Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road…

BILL CLINTON:

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

OPRAH:

Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

BILL GATES:

I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra…#@&&^(C% ……… reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:

Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:

To die in the rain. Alone.

AL SHARPTON:

Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.